Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Blamed the Genetic

Mother: “My dear, can you stop quarrel with your younger sister?”

Son: “Sorry, mummy. I’m afraid you should blamed it to the genetic”

Mother: “Young man, we talking about the quarrel, don’t try to skip away the topic”

Son: “Not, mummy. I did not skip away from it. You don’t know what is genetic was?”

Mother: “Yup, I knowing it better than you are…”

Son: “Great, it is because your daughter likes you and I likes father. As people always said, “Like father like son”!”

Mother: “So, what is the problem?”

Son: “Didn’t you always fight with father at home?”

Mother: “……”

Note: Although above is only a joke, however is also a frequently happening problem all around us. Think of you children, before you both want to start the fight/quarrel.

Snowboard Advertisement

"You Cheating" One customer get inside the Advertisement Producer room and yell.

"Why you charge me so much, in fact you have been listed out all of the payment in the advertisement...Are you try to fool me here?" The customer is so angry now.

"You're right here, Sir. But, don't forget that I'm also included the sun, the snow mountains and also many beauty models as well. Isn't this extra things good for you?" The producer said.

"Yup, it did help the advertisement a lot" The customer replied.

"So, Extra cools things = extra money burn, got it?

The customer:"..."

What Are Their Favorite?

1) What is tree favorite's drink?

Answer: Definitely will be...Root Beer

2) What is mountain favorite's drink?

Answer: Mountain Dew

3) What kind of food need a 'hut'?

Answer: Pizza Hut

4) What is the King of all Burgers?

Answer: Who else except of Burger King

5) What are Kenny Rogers expert in?

Answer: Kenny Rogers Roasters

How Much Money?

This is the joke in between a primary mathematics teacher and student...

Ms. Susan : Johnny, stand up and answer my question.

Johnny: Yes, Teacher.

Ms. Susan: Imagine that you have two bucks in your pocket, then your father give you another two bucks. So, how much money do you have now?

Johnny: That's easy, teacher. I will still have two bucks.

Ms. Susan: No, the answer is wrong. Seen like you doesn't know how to do this maths.

Johnny: No, teacher. I'm right here, teacher. You didn't even recognize my father, as my father always tell me: " if you want money, then go and get it for yourself, don't even bother to ask from me for money..."

Ms. Susan: "..."

Apple's Joke

One Agriculture Bachelor just graduated from University and return to his hometown. At the orchard, he tell the old garderner arrogantly: "The way you planting Apple Trees is not efficient, I'm will be really shocked if you can harvest at least 10 Kilograms of apple."

Then, the old gardener look at the young people and say: " I'm also really shokced as well."

The young man say: "Hehe, didn't I told you I'm right..."

The old gardener say again: "I'm shocked that how can PEACH Trees can grows out APPLE...?"

The young man: "..."

Improve Your Memory

A lady would like to register on a "Memory improving" course, so she go to the college and the admin need her to fill a registration form...

As we all know, in a formal registration form, we need to fill in our name, living place address, working place address, our occupation, phone numbers and etc. Then, the lady think for over an hour, she wrote something on the form and pass it to the receptionist.

The receptionist look at the form, she found nothing but these following words: "If I can remember these information, why I still need to come and learn this course, your moron..."

Clothes That Fixed?

Husband : You still wear those new clothe that I bought for you last month?

Wife : Yes, my dear. Even three of our children also fixed with those clothes.

Husband : Hehe, didn't I told you, that I'm have a nice taste and sense when come to latest fashion style.

Wife : Yeah, I must admit that you have the sense of fashion, But...

Husband : But what, my dear?

Wife : But, can you also make sure that you also have the sense of body fit? As each time I wash those clothes, it will shrink at least over a quarter. We only have three children, so I'm didn't even wash those clothes anymore...

Husband : ...

Can't You Hear Me?

There is a Graduation ceremony for the high junior in a high school today. Where the teacher annouce the best student of the year to come up for a ceremony'speech, that student didn't show up. Only after three times of calling the student name, the student finally walk to to the stage...

Then, the teacher ask the student:"Why you didn't come out when I call you? Can't you hear me or you are not well today?"

The student answered the teacher:"No, I'm can hear you clearly and also feeling fine as well. What I anxious is, I'm afraid that the other students can't hear my name whem you call me."

The teacher:"..."

The Drawing

There is a art lesson in a primary school just now.

The art teacher want her students to have a free draw, that's mean the students can draw what ever they want.

After half an hour, the teacher start to collect the students drawing.

When her come to student called Sam, something interesting happened:

Theacher : Sam, it's time to pass out your drawing. Why U didn't draw anything at all?

Sam: Miss, I did draw! Can't U saw it?

Teacher : What Are U draw? All I see is a blank white paper only!

Sam: I drew "A Cow Eating Grass!"

Teacher : Then, where is the grass?

Sam: The cow had ate all of the grass.

Teacher: Ok, what about the cow?

Sam: After ate all of the grass, the cow had walked away!

Teacher: "......"

What About a BBQ?

Below there is the conversation between a teacher & her students...

Miss Susan: Ok, let's pay attention! We will have an outdoor event in this summer break. So, any good suggestion for it?

John: We can have a BBQ for the outdoor event!

Miss Susan: Good Idea, John! But, where is the best loation for our BBQ event?

Kylie: Miss, I know where is the best location for our BBQ!

Miss Susan: Yes, Kylie. Where?

Kylie: Why don't we have a BBQ in ZOO. At there, we can choose all kind of meat we want, isn't it just great?

Miss Susan: "......"

Learn to Say Sorry?

There is a man from non-English spoken country. One day, he want to learn English, he went to his friend house. His friend taught the man, whenever he knocked down someone by accidently, he must said " I'm sorry " to that person, as the meaning of forgiveness.

One day, the man woke up lately. He was in a rush to go to work. So, he just run very fast to his working place. Suddenly, he knocked down a woman that walking on the street. He look at the woman, & said "I'm sorry!" to her.

Then, the woman reply him " I'm sorry too! " to him. The man stared at the woman, & think for a while. After it, the man said " I'm sorry three! " ( PS : the man think that 'too' is stand for 'two'! ) The woman was shocked, & ask him : " what are u sorry 'for'? ( PS : the man thought that 'for' is 'four'! ) then, the man said : " I'm sorry five! "

The woman : "......"

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